So, what WAS in the box? Review of: Se7en

Se7enSo, I watched Se7en for the first time last week. In short, I did like it, but I’m not sure I know why it’s hailed as a classic.

I’ll admit, the horror genre isn’t really one that I explore very often. I’m not really a fan of scary movies, tons of gore, or jump scenes. So when I watch something that has all three, I tend to step back and not get really into the movie.

However, I let myself get into this one. Mostly because the plot seemed to turn at a few moments, but also because I did get a little lost. I’ll admit, I did not have the patience to pay too close attention. It just seemed to drag on and on. (Sorry David Fincher).

But, when the third act started, when Kevin Spacey turns himself in, then I woke up and realized that everything in the plot did get tied up just perfectly. The antagonist was written perfectly, and had planned everything, even when and where everything happened. Maybe not terribly realistic, but still cool. And I know that it was a traumatic moment, but Brad Pitt’s line, “What’s in the box?” was funny.

Speaking of actors, it was a bit of an experience waching a movie knowing where their careers head. This film ws a vehicle to hoist him to A-list status, yet he still performs amazingly. Morgan Freeman still played the older man type character, but with a blend of a tough cop. I’m not sure anyone else could work it like he could.

Summary: Two great actors, decent story that gets better the more you watch, and I have to watch Fight Club three times as penance for not enjoying this movie to the fullest.


Review 1: Monsters vs Aliens

Wow, just wow. I should have picked somewhere else in the list.

Now, that movie wasn’t bad, it wasn’t good, it was…….predictable. It had the most generic plot ever. Girl gets superpowers, loses her whole livelihood, then makes new weird friends while saving the world and getting used to her new powers. At least vary the plot a little. Don’t make every character have one gag or be a stereotype.

And do not get me started with the 3D. Yes, I saw this today, no it was not on my 52-inch HD 3d equipped TV. I don’t have one. Didn’t mean that the creators weren’t trying to poke me in the eyes with each action scene. This is how you make good 3D: Immerse us in a world where everything looks just as real as if it was here, not by shoving and throwing things at the camera and making bits the key focus point. I life for the day I can watch a 3D animated movie and they don’t clutter it up with gimmicks.

Well, this was supposed to be a review, not a rant. So here it is: While Monsters vs Aliens strove to be a heroic epic between good and evil while remaining funny, it instead became a pandering of actors and stereotypes mixed together. Take one scoop of A-list comedians, add Marvel plots, generic characters, and sprinkle in some bad 3D. Mix unevenly. May leave bad taste in mouth.


Next one should be better. I’m thinking 80’s…

Worst Moviegoing Experience

My list about what not to do during a screening reminded me of one time when all the rules were broken, and resulted in an abysmal night.

The Movie: The Lord Of The Rings, The Fellowship Of The Ring.

The Setting: A summer evening, around 2003.

This all takes place in Red Rocks Ampitheatre, where once a month in the summer, the Denver Film Center shows a popular film. It’s quite an amazing venue; an ampitheater carved into the rock. The acoustics are perfect. I highly recommend going sometime. It’s a wondrous thing to be able to watch a classic movie under the stars surrounded by nature.

However, this was not one of those magical nights.

First off, this was a sold out show. Meaning that there was about ten-thousand people there crowding around the aisles. I’m not a crowd person. Especially not at 7 in the evening when there’s 100-degree heat radiating off of the rocks and cooking everyone in the ampitheatre. We arrived too early.

Because they know that people arrive ungodly early, the event coordinators brought out a band to entertain the crowd. It would have been good if we could hear them. Apparently, they didn’t hook up to the red rocks amps, and thusly, couldn’t be heard beyond the fourth row. The acoustics need something to work with…

Finally, when dusk hit, they changed the stage to accomodate a giant screen. It was almost movie time. So, let’s bring out a boring comedian to amuse the crowd for another half hour. I think he got three laughs. And then he decided to close by reading off a list that he was emailed. Please don’t insult my intelligence. I’ve been using a computer since I could crawl, and I’ve been forwarded your stupid list twenty-six times. And it wasn’t funny the first time!

Oh, there were some good parts during the night. I saw my first cosplayers. Mostly people wearing green coats with furry feet. And of course it was a good movie, despite seeing it for the fortieth time.

But by this time, I started to get uncomfortable, literally. I have a back injury that keeps me from sitting in bleachers withous some form of back support for long without hurting. And Red Rocks is all bleachers. It was hell.

The row behind me were hell too. Somehow, they brought in a suitcase of cheap beer, and had finished half before the movie started. So, the most rational solution to cure thier boredom and ADD was to create an impromptu mosh pit. Way to go douchebags. I think they got thrown out by the second act.

Of course by the second act, we were treated to the most ear-piercing shrill sounds that can only be emitted by fire alarms and teenage girls. Orlando Bloom had the audacity to show his face on the screen. Multiple times no less. And each scream was just as loud as the first. This completely ruined the movie for me by this point. I think I started to cheer for Sauron at this point.

I now have more things to add to my list: Don’t have crappy pre-movie entertainment, uncomfortable seats, drunken mosh pits, or screaming teenage girls at a movie. Or Orlando Bloom.

So, what’s your worst movie experience?